redesigning customer service

Here's an idea: don't allow customer service reps to hang up - if they DO hang up, link the call to a survey to let me rate the rep or escalate to a manager etc.. a good rep will get kudos, a bad rep won't last long at the job!

I mean is this really that difficult to set up? am I the only one that ever put some thought to the customer service call workflow!? you're welcome, humanity. you're welcome.

Google, please stop..

Today Google puts out a HUGE arrow that points to their awesomely failed Google+ efforts.. Talk about desperate means to make their social circle technology succeed; Let's put a HUGE ANIMATED ARROW TO POINT THEM WHERE TO CLICK! - brilliant idea, Google.

You might as well have finished the job and put the text you really meant to put up along with the arrow, ie:

My BitLocker Relationship

BitLocker started as a wonderful hard drive encryption technology to keep my files safe and protected.. it was a good thing at first..

but soon I started getting random nagging messages and errors on my computer about BitLocker.. so I called the helpdesk. They adviced I decrypt the drive, apply an update, and re-encrypt the drive again.

Naively, I start decrypting the drive only to watch the system come to a complete meltdown at around 30% ... unresponsive, followed by the monitor shutting down, and eventually leaving the laptop fan at full blast blowing hot air.

4 hours go by without any indication that the system was doing anything productive.

expecting the worst, I reboot..

well.. that was expected. I just lost everything in the disk..
I opt to cut my losses and try to reformat the drive.

...ok, so the BIOS doesn't even recognize that there's even a disk in the machine! the drive pretty much imploded taking everything along with it..

The analogy here is that BitLocker made me feel used and scathed.. It started off wonderfully and full of hopes and promise. then came an increasing nagging that left me to find a solution. and.. this solution, analogous to a nasty divorce, left me with nothing.

BitLocker, you took everything from me. I hope you're satisfied.

what's that burning smell?

I wish I had a better story to this one; I wasn't even intoxicated to justify it.. I tripped over the iron cord, and by the time I realized I knocked it over the carpet was nice and toasty. charred and melted real nice..

so what now? thankfully, my pack-rat instincts helped me on this one. I kept some leftover carpet in the attic from when I bought the house and figured I could fix it.. I cut up the burnt mark and replaced it with new carpet. sealed it with 'carpet tape' aka: duct tape, and good as new..

out with the old

in with the new

... the end result, while not 100% perfect is close enough and will blend in more with time.

the dollar refund...

Filing my taxes across different states I worked in and I owe everywhere..
except for Ohio. I am getting a dollar refund... SCORE!

Why can't my favorite color be red?

I was filling out some security questions when suddenly..

I suppose they didn't think this one through..
or I'm the only one who likes red.

Chocolate Covered Rock (from a factory worker's boot)

I recently bought some chocolate espresso beans from World Market. I never shop there, it was somewhat a coincidence that I happen to be there. With time to kill I decided to enter and shop.. While enjoying these fine confections I find that one espresso bean isn't quite crunchy as it is well, plain solid.. as the blog post title suggests, it was a ROCK.. a chocolate covered rock somehow got in there.

Shortly after this incident I had to know "how" this happened.. I played out a few scenarios in my head, and refined it down to the following illustrated and summarized steps that may have lead to the chocolate covered rock I found that fateful day.

Figure 1: Factory worker would start the day as usual.

Figure 2: The infamous pebble from the parking lot

manages to get stuck on the factory worker's boot.

 

Figure 3: Passing through a metal walkway 
the factory worker's shoe releases the
pebble into a batch of espresso beans.

Figure 4: The beans (along with the pebble) are processed and
placed into the completed product bucket, where its clever disguise
can pass quality assurance and make its way into packaging.

So what are the odds that a random shopper goes to the store that ended up with the chocolate covered rock and actually purchases the package from the several hundred packages in the store?... I should feel lucky.

Conclusion: Don't buy chocolate covered anything from World Market (without expecting factory worker debris) There you have it. Another day, another mystery solved.

computer might shut down suddenly

SWEET!!

How being the company 'go-to' guy works

A comprehensive flow chart by yours truly, outlining the mechanics of being the company's indispensable resource for any and all issues.. enjoy.

a note on business cards

I travel often for work.. and with travel comes business cards..

I don't know why it is that people I meet on a plane or at project sites feel obligated to give me their business cards with their fancy titles and decorative company names..

being a consultant I'll be the first to admit, that I do carry my own fancy business card when I go on different projects.. but I use it sparingly, as needed..

At any rate, I accumulate a lot of business cards from random people I likely have no desire to contact in the future..
so.. what to do with these cards?

I developed a nasty habit of keeping these business cards with me, and using them as my own identity when I meet others. or submitting them at those drawings they often have at restaurants.... makes traveling more interesting.