Sunday, December 28, 2008

Seriously? ...can MS Word be this retarded?

I went on to format and print an online receipt out of my inbox and decided Word would be a good program to use for this.
I copy and paste my receipt into word and ... lo and behold I get smacked in the face with "retard grammar" ... apparently the world's most popular (and expensive) word editor thinks "your order" should be corrected to "you're order"

This is NOT a fake - try it at home!

um... I guess it's better than the "we is" correction I saw a couple years back.. anyway, to each they're own
(yes pun intended...)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

SharePoint Designer WILL NOT DIE

Unable to quit? We apologize for the inconvenience? Times like these frustrate me as much as they humor me. Midnight approaches and one of the tools that my job depends on messes up.. Apology not accepted..

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

1337 System

1337 events make for a leet system...

Thursday, November 20, 2008

the internet is magic, says hot chick

Finally an infomercial that speaks to people like you and me, who don't want to bother with science and simply believe in magic!

I like the "it gets magically put on your website" part ... don't worry guys I got you all covered with the video below.

Unfortunately there's no magic or low cut shits on it..

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Tetris explained.

I saw this the other day and wanted to share - awesome!

Monday, October 27, 2008

worst flight ever..

So I fly out to LA this morning ... the usual monday routine, except this time it was a propeller plane.. the little ones you walk up to from the ground..

We all board the plane, get stuck in the runway for some time and the pilot broadcasts there will be turbulence and that LAX has some heavy fog.. we take off on this little flying tin can... half way there the plane starts dropping and shaking quite a bit - and across the cabin you hear some crazy guy just PANICKING breathing hard and freaking out that he cant see out the window..

of course there's a crying baby to add to the mix - frankly I dont remember the last time I got on a plane without a crying baby. I can just hear the gate announcer say "we cannot begin boarding until the family with the most annoying crying baby checks into this flight" anyway - besides the point.

It was by far one of the worst flights I've been on, and I just wasted a good chunk of time complaining. go me.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

on Vegas ...

Going to vegas on a whim: $300.

Missing your flight by a few seconds and having to watch the the aircraft depart full of happy passengers and an empty seat with your name on it: priceless.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

talk about a crappy week..

Monday I have a running toilet that keeps me up all night so they fix it and leave this unique note:

Tuesday I wake up to a flodded bathroom.. and today another note, with three people involved in fixing the toilet:

Scott from the first note, Jose Luis and someone named Maits got involved. Three people to fix my hotel toilet? There's gotta be a record broken with this one.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

safety first...

I'm locked out of the balcony for my own safety..

Thursday, July 17, 2008

SharePoint Designer Poetry

SharePoint Designer offers some very insightful messages from time to time. This was no exception - in fact it was quite poetic...

Object moved ... Object moved to here.

To where? to here.. so subtle. so gentle. so.. how to say- awesome. Thanks SharePoint.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Best Installer EVER

This is an actual installer screen for an old school borland c++ compiler... no really, this is what you see while the compiler installs on your computer...

Yes. This is exactly how a developer should install a compiler... why stick to a boring installer progress bar? a drive to destination is much more fun ... destination loserville up ahead at 100%..

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Calculate Energy Costs!

What better day than Earth Day for me to post this...

A free web hosting service I use emailed me pretty much saying "take your stuff down we're closing shop in June..." so I considered hosting my own server... which led me to wonder if that would make sense or not given the hosting options out there...

I wrote a simple excel spreadsheet to calculate this and then figured I may want to calculate more stuff.. what if I dont have the Excel file with me, bla bla... So I took it to the web.

Here it is: the Kill-A-Watt Calculation Page!

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Working May Cause Cancer

I saw this sign at the building entrance where I've been working for the past two months on a project..

what an awesome way to start your day - nothing says welcome to work quite like this cute message...

Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Cheesiness of the World Reserve Monetary Exchange

I got this big envelope in the mail today - it looked very important with all kinds of "deliver by this date" and "rushed priority service" bla bla... it was from the World Reserve Monetary Exchange (company)... for those not aware of this company, they basically try to sell you collector coins.. and they REALLY try.

It is because of their cheesy marketing that I'm taking time to post this long blog entry. They sent me pictures - there is nothing that says why they sent me these "pictures" but they did. Basically they're selling me a whole vault of coins for about a grand, and I believe the pictures were enclosed to emphasize how important these coins are and how fortunate I am for getting this offer.

Photo #1:
The vault is as important as it is fancy. There is a finger pointing to it for effect.

Photo #2:
These coins are so important that congressmen or whoever this guy is can bring them to out to his talks. There is a very interested photographer on the right.

Photo #3:
Even if you're an everyday country man you can own these coins. There is an old picture frame to appeal to veterans? an eagle statue shows how american this house is, and I dont know what the guy in the far left background is doing.

Photo #4:
Now if you want to gain your child's respect - nothing does so better than sitting with him and talking about coins. I dont know why this kid has his shirt unbuttoned.

Photo #5:
This one inspired me the most. It's an old woman filled with joy (hands clasped) as her incredibly desirable vault arrives. Neighborhood kids stop riding their bikes to see this. A mom stops pushing her baby stroller to witness this formidable delivery. I mean, you buy one of these and you're the talk of the town. Don't forget to put the american flag out either.

Photo #6:
Every successful businessman knows - these coins are priceless. This guy sports his diploma and executive office, and can't help but smile at his coin collection investment.

Photo #7:
Oh yes - this one fits my demographic. The american guy into sports who throws parties and has a few beers. Hot girls and your friends will be impressed with your coin collection. The guy in the back says thumbs up for a great party. Not sure how the office space ceilings got in this guys house. Not to mention they could have at least photoshopped the camera and studio setup from the pool table's reflective corner.

Photo #8:
I guess you can keep your vault in the closet if you're the more modest demographic or just plain boring.

Photo #9:
And I don't know where they were going with this last picture.. I'm done.

I think the worst part of all this is that there are people buying these coins in the hopes that they will live the scene in one of these pictures. That's marketing but this was so offbeat that I had to scan them to show how cheesy these are..

Saturday, March 8, 2008

No.. I don't want to join!

So this is another annoying Microsoft thing with Vista - They ask you if you want to share usage information with Microsoft on your computer usage and other stuff. But the OK button is disabled.. So in order to say No, I have to first say Yes and then say No to enable the OK button... then you hit OK and have to elevate the decision to the system administrator to allow and confirm that you really didn't want to join.

I had to decline this "great offer" once when installing Vista, and now again after installing Service Pack 1. Not only is it hard to say "No" but you have to say it multiple times - awesome...

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Excel as a 3D Graphics Engine

This was just too crazy to pass up.. this guy has way too much time on his hands... and I probably have way too much time on my hands to have tested his code ...which by the way is a lot slower to render on Office 2007..

Read the full article here.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Installing SP1..

I decided to install SP1 today after a frustrating couple days dealing with Vista issues I'm told are resolved in the latest Service Pack.. The most frustrating of all being how slow "File Copy" operations are in Vista.. I was copying files both on my own computer hard drive and across the network - both ridiculously slow in Vista.

Later in the day I gave a demo presentation and ran into a few issues with Vista's "smart" projector output sensing.. which I read was worked on in SP1.

SP1 should be out on Windows Update later this month.. I was going to hold off and go that route.. but since I have it available I figured why not.. ideally SP1 will solve the problems I've been dealing with.. worst case scenario I'll install ubuntu until Vienna comes out.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Construction Begins..

After shopping around for a console table to fit my turntables I realized I was on my own unless I wanted to spend upwards from $600.

My new goal: < $200